Immediately out of elbow surgery I thought about spoon carving. I was fearful that this gift of a hobby, my passion craft, my so-called therapy for so much pain in life, was suddenly something inaccessible. I didn’t think about work. I didn’t think about conquering activities for daily living. I just thought about spoons….

Sadly, carving the spoon you see pictured was harder than expected. I figured since the surgery was on my nondominant arm, I’d be able to fumble through this pretty well. And to those of you that haven’t carved a wooden spoon, you might think I’m well on my way. And sure, you are probably right. The carving and the healing; they are just going to require a bit more patience, which is a virtue I’m feeling extra short on lately.

Here’s where I’m stuck. For those of you that have been here for a while, you are more than aware that I’ve spent most the past decade in relative isolation. I spent six years as a caregiver to both my parents before they passed, and then another two years riding out Covid. What I’m truly struggling with isn’t so much the arm recovery but the time I’ve spent mostly alone (or with people that couldn’t communicate). In the past, I’ve always turned back to my hobbies. I spent the hours baking breads and carving spoons, trying to peacefully accept being “stuck” during those periods. But now feels rather exceptionally cruel. Just when I was feeling surface under my feet and some traction moving forward, I’m stuck again, and this time without my hobbies as therapy.

I’m in my third week of physical therapy and trust that with time my abilities will improve. I know I’ll regain strength and better my range of motion, even if a second surgery is required. But what do I do in the meantime? What’s the quickest cure?

“You have to make time, to take time...”

— Ashley Look

Don’t answer that! Actually, I already know what you’d say. That “in time things will get better and I need to continue to exercise patience”. Ya, I know. I know, I know! And I’m going to give myself the same advice I give everyone I’ve taught to carve a spoon or bake bread… “You have to make time, to take time!” And I will. I am… And I will finish this spoon!