Recurring Dream
This keeps happening. Choking dreams...
The peril for choking is always different and has evolved slightly over time however panic remains. The first ones I remember included sand. Like being buried alive and relying on the air between those individual grains, always struggling to breath-in. Every breath was sharp and rough as the soft tissue of my lungs gathered harrowing abrasions. But breathing… very heavy breathing.
Somewhere along the way this dream has changed. I haven’t had the sand one in a while and the panic is no more about the strain of inhalation, but instead it’s coughing a substance out. Lately, this substance takes the form of a melted, sticky kind-of tar. Often it is black and coats my tongue and throat, and my breath becomes forceful and heaving as I try to get it out. It's that same lurching way that happens when you gag. At times I wake-up, ripped from the dead of night. The coughing is ragged and painful, but I have to get it out. If I am lucky I might even vomit, because with that goes the adrenaline and after I can usually fall back asleep.