January 2018
#koolbob - Health Update
Unfortunately, it's not all fun and games. My dad was in the hospital at the end of the year. We made our way to the ER at 3 AM via ambulance which my hope is for the last time. The event proved tragic for both of us. Awaking to his health concerns in the middle of the night, I was forced to recognize the hopelessness of our situation as I too was sick. Only hours before I was throwing up for some unknown reason. Food poisoning? Flu? No idea... But the reality was stark. We were alone. I was slow to respond and overwhelmed at the crisis. I called 911 somewhat unsure if he was having a 911 moment. This is a frequent mental debate I think many caregivers experience. Is the given episode worth the chaos that follows? Am I ready to light this match?
True to form, that phone call was the match that started a fire, and swept us straight into all the misgivings of the healthcare system. If it were my own life, then I might be more obliging to the procedural side of things. The parlay of treatment makes sense in regard to the longevity of health but not when measured alongside that of dementia. My father (and I suspect many seniors that end up in the ER), became a matter of medical whims. A test subject for assumptions... The inability to describe what's wrong often leads to random tests, many of which are safeguards backing medicare compliance and have little to do with physical health and everything to do with who picks up the tab. The liability on part of the healthcare industry is much too great and therefore procedural tests and treatments, (several of which I now know were absolutely unnecessary) have become the backbone in determining a diagnosis for many elderly. This medical process of elimination is nothing short of confusing for anyone with some form of dementia and is often physically painful. The excruciating cries, barely muffled by a curtain, are damages accrued to both the individual and their caretaker. Where one feels the physically pain, the other is destroyed at heart, and the over all sense of hurt and suffering only gets compounded. It's these visceral cries that continue to haunt me from my mom's sudden passing. These sounds I can't unhear... Sounds that have been nothing short of brutalizing and ring all the more loudly when it comes to paying premiums. Ultimately, my dad's hospital trip proved "minor". He was discharged later in the day with a diagnosis of mild constipation and some acid reflux. We were sent home nearly 10 hours later with over the counter prescriptions and I had a new headache in how to unwind the trauma he just incurred.
What people don't realize is that managing dementia is the art of managing chaos. Rather than implement chaotic measure at the ER, staff could better their services by foregoing some procedures and listening first to patients between their garbled words and observing their behaviors in their most basic form. Treating through the distortion is not exactly "treating" a dementia patient and the health profession could learn a lot by just looking and listening. Doctors will likely refute this statement but that illustrates the refusal to listen. To truly care for someone with dementia you must first care for their environment. Actions and procedures need to be assessed with regard to overall comfort because it's what happens later, behind the scenes, that ultimately impact one's quality of life.