Lately, my biggest grip about being a caregiver is how sedentary I have become. I spend most of my days watching my dad watch TV and it is literally killing me. I’m developing aches and pains from the lack of movement. I’m agitated and cranky almost all the time which can’t be good for my blood pressure. And perhaps the worst is knowing I should do more but don’t and so it’s all of the above with a dose of guilt to go with it. Cheers to meh…(Insert eye roll here.) Fortunately, I trust this is just a phase. I’ve always been a relatively active person. I’ve dabble in seasons of less movement but for the most part exercise is my health insurance. I know how important it is to one’s overall sense of wellness which is why I am so happy to introduce you to Harry Cline.

Harry is the creator of NewCaregiver.org and author of the upcoming book, The A-Z Home Care Handbook: Health Management How-Tos for Senior Caregivers. He is a retired nursing home administrator, father of three, and caregiver to his ninety-year-old uncle. He is more than familiar with the challenges and rewards of caregiving and understands the role is often overwhelming for those just starting out. Through creating his website and writing his new book, he offers caregivers everywhere help and support. We are lucky to have him with us today to help shed some light on the role of flexibility. That’s right folks! FLEXIBILITY! And balance and mindfulness… But as we move into December we should be remember that this is the “home stretch” of 2018 and there is still time to finish strong. Since both seniors and caregivers (or anyone for that matter) stand to benefit from developing a consistent yoga and meditation practice, Harry is here to share his tips and help us get started.

Here’s Harry!

Yoga is for everybody. It might sound cliché, but it’s true. There are many benefits of doing yoga for people of all ages and any fitness level. Chances are, you already know this. Perhaps your friends do yoga at a Silver Sneakers class. Maybe your physician told you how yoga can help ease those morning aches and pains. Yoga can be good for you physically, but did you know that yoga has a mental advantage, as well?

Aging isn’t easy, but neither is being a caregiver. Doing yoga together can help alleviate stress and tension while also getting your bodies moving. Caregivers often have little time for self-care, so doing yoga together is a great way to encourage them to work on their own physical and mental health. The same yoga sequences that can benefit seniors can also benefit caregivers.

Balance

There are many yoga postures that help improve balance, which has a positive impact on memory and brain function. The brain is home to your body’s balance sensors, so poses that focus on balance can be positive for seniors who may be experiencing mild cognitive impairment. These kinds of poses can also help improve your agility, which can help prevent falls. Balance poses require our attention every second, which improves the equilibrium in both our minds and bodies.

Try This Balance Pose: Tree

Standing with one leg planted firmly on the floor, bring the foot of your opposite leg to your ankle, calf, or thigh. This is the start of tree pose. You can stretch your arms out to the side, press them together in front of your chest, or raise them up over your head. If you feel a little wobbly on your feet, hold on to the back of a chair, a door frame, or a wall.

2. Flexibility

As we age, our bodies become tighter and tenser. This is also true if we are more sedentary or stressed. Yoga improves flexibility by helping our muscles, tendons, and ligaments elongate and stretch so that our bodies let go and release. It’s important to take it slow -- if a pose is uncomfortable, but you can breathe through it, see if you can stick it out for five to 10 breathes. However, if it feels painful, back out until you find a place that is a comfortable challenge.

Try This Flexibility Pose: Sitting Pigeon

There are several ways to do a pigeon pose. If you’re new to working on flexibility, sit firmly on the floor with your knees bent and feet flat on the ground. Plant your hands behind your back and lean back a bit. Bring your right ankle on to your left thigh just below your knee. If you want to deepen the stretch, bring your right hand to your right knee and apply gentle pressure. If this pose is easy for you, try a more advanced version of pigeon posture.

3. Mindfulness

Yoga helps us connect our minds and bodies, increasing awareness about how we feel and why we act. Yoga, which literally translates as “to yolk,” makes that connect by emphasizing meditation and a focus on breathing. One way to make yoga a habit with you and your caregiver is to set up a meditation space in your home. Choose an area free of distractions and with nice natural light. Roll out your yoga mat, set out a few cushions and light a candle, set out aromatherapy scents, or play calming music.

Try This Breathing Activity: Three-Part Breath

Sit comfortably on the floor or a chair. Roll your shoulders back and down and put space between your ears and your shoulders. Place your right hand on your chest and your left hand over your belly button. Inhale into your belly — your left hand should push forward. Then, move the inhale upward, drawing the air in between your ribs and finally in your chest. Exhale in reverse. Practice making this breath smooth and fluid, like a wave rolling up when you inhale and down when you exhale.

Yoga can help both you and your caregiver improve your physical and mental well-being. However, just as important -- or maybe even more -- it can bring you closer together, creating a happier, low-stress household.

Me again…

This topic brings up several thoughts specifically in terms of relationships. I’ve long been searching for an alternative version of “mommy and me” activities that are more aptly appropriate to adult children and their aging parents. It is true that both seniors and caregiver stand to benefit from engaging together in activities. Additionally, activities that promote the physical well-being across generations stand to gain broad acceptance as both youth and elderly populations find their lives increasingly intertwined. But the question is HOW? I anxiously await programs that recognize that senior wellness initiatives must also apply to their caretakers. Programs like Silver Sneakers offer desirable benefits to the senior demographic but I wonder how many would-be participant don’t enroll because of limitations surrounding their caregiver’s access? This trend is also visible at senior centers where age restrictions often limit caregivers from attending and therefore keep many seniors from utilizing available community resources. I see a growing need to bridge this arena if we truly want to improve the culture of aging in America. The exclusivity surrounding age related access is a disservice to quality of life, and I look forward to more perspectives like Harry’s that highlight the intersection of seniors and those that care for them!

And if you are a caregiver, I would love to hear your experience finding activities that cater to both you and your care person. I’ve struggled finding activities that offers both my father and I and opportunity to grow. Aside from the local library (which could benefit their service by creating a senior section mush like a children’s section) I’ve experienced very little in the way of mutually supported service. Rather, what I observe, is the catering to one or the other which feels more like a wedge between the two world and thereby crippling either’s ability to thrive. I, like many caregivers, live without the luxury of separating our experiences. Our lives are conjoined and that I’ve come to accept, but as a caregiver I feel the marginalization of this role. I want to hear your thoughts about organizations, ideas, and/or experiences aimed at addressing this unique circumstance. How can we fill this gap?

As some of you may know, I started the journey of caregiving several years prior to moving back to South Florida to care for my folks. I was living in Massachusetts and was utterly in denial about the situation back home. Having only just begun my journey into "adulting" I was somewhat naive as to how avoidance typically breeds more problems then it ever fixes. As you might imagine, nothing got fixed. I was making frequent trips to Florida to check-up on things only to escape back to Massachusetts and ignorantly live by the expression, "out of sight, out of mind".

Things began to escalate. Stress was getting the best of me and it was manifesting in ways I could no longer ignore or disguise. I lost a noticeable amount of weight and perhaps more concerning, I lost my voice. I went through strange bouts of laryngitis that would last for months at time. The muscles around my throat were so tight from being constantly verklempt, that the persistent laryngitis started to interfere with my work. My professional life was falling apart because my personal life was falling apart and I hadn't even a smidge of a plan in place. Long story short, everything about my life change abruptly. And I mean EVERYTHING!

My naivety left me crippled and I frequently think back to how different I might have found my circumstances if I had only prepared a bit more. I think a transition would still have been inevitable but I can't help wondering if life might have been easier had I taken incremental steps toward addressing my aging parents' needs. Baby steps to address challenges from afar might have given me more time to pack-up my belonging, leave my job with two weeks notice, and perhaps most importantly, say good-bye to my beloved friends and community in MA that I had built my life around. I left my "life" in a state of emergency (you can read about that here) and had to sift through the mess of pieces to restore order for my folks all while allowing chaos to consume the life that I abandoned. I was surrounded by wreckage which is why I am so happy to introduce you to Claire Wentz, the creator of caringfromafar.com. She is the author of the upcoming book, Caring from Afar: A Comprehensive Guide for Long-Distance Senior Caregivers which I can only imagine will be a "life" saver when it is released. Claire is a former home health nurse and recognizes that our aging population means many more people will become senior caregivers over the years. Specifically, she is interested in providing assistance and support to those caregivers who do not live near their loved ones. Below are a few of her tips on how to pull-off long distance caregiving...

Seeing our parents become more frail with age is difficult. Their minds and bodies may not be as capable as they once were, and sometimes we don’t live close by to help. What can you do when mom and dad are far away and they need your assistance?

Growing older and moving farther...

Trying to help from a distance can be daunting, and it’s a challenge more of us face than ever before. Research shows that since the turn of the century our 65 and older population grew twice as fast as other age groups, and on top of that, families are more spread out than they used to be. The good news is there are many ways you can provide care even from afar, making life happier and healthier for your aging parents.

1. Share Information

You will find it helpful to get important information from your parents before facing a crisis. Ask your parents to share with you their essential information and record it in an easily retrievable place. You can start a notebook or computer document with their vital phone numbers, emails, medical data, and banking records. Something as simple as a three ring binder or a spreadsheet may be all you need. Be sure to include current prescription and pharmacy information, as well as neighbors’ contact information. There are health-monitoring devices that can be installed in your loved-one’s home to help keep track of their medication schedules as well as their daily activity. Caregivers can access this information from a website to determine if there are any issues or schedule disruptions.

While you’re at it, arranging direct deposit for mom and dad may be helpful, or you may want to set up online banking for them so you can help from the comfort of your own computer. You can even establish automatic payments for utilities or other routine bills.

Now is also a good time to consider preparing and recording legal documents such as a power of attorney. You or your parents may not feel ready for that, but you are better off planning ahead rather than waiting for a crisis.

2. Enable Transportation Measures

Your parents most likely want to stay active, but may need some assistance from you. This can be complicated if they have physical limitations, especially when you are a long-distance caregiver. How do you help your parents keep up with their doctor visits, much less their social lives? Fortunately, there are several options available. Many communities are instituting senior shuttle services, taxi voucher programs, public transportation, and volunteer services. Contact the agency on aging in your parents’ hometown, or check with some national resources for help. Trained, professional assistance is available for your mom or dad who can’t travel alone, such as parents who are wheelchair-bound or need oxygen. You should write down questions you want to ask before calling the agency so you can cover all of your concerns.

3. Housekeeping and Maintenance Assistance

Keeping up with the house, lawn, and other chores that once were basic may become physically challenging for your aging mom or dad. A visit once a week from a housekeeper or a routine meal delivery may be a huge help to your parents. Don’t forget they may need help with the outside of the home, too.

Remember that handling heavy equipment may be cumbersome for your elderly parents. Also working outside on a hot day can cause seniors to overheat. As we age, our bodies have more trouble managing heat. Setting up help for mowing and other basic lawn care can relieve a physical burden for your parents and eliminate these concerns. If your parents live in a climate with winter snow, also consider a snow removal service. Professional services are available that would cover both lawn care and snow clearing, or you may want to check in with the neighbors to see if a teen could lend a hand with mowing and shoveling.

Distances can be overcome...

Even if mom and dad live far away, you have many ways to help them. Be sure to line up all their important information and keep it handy. Set up organized systems to help with their finances and medical concerns, and be ready if you need legal documentation. Arrange to keep them active and mobile through area services. And you can establish help for them in and around the house. Taking these steps will help you keep your parents happy and healthy, even when you have to aid them from far away.

*Caring from Afar: A Comprehensive Guide for Long-Distance Senior Caregivers by Claire Wentz is under review and currently awaiting it's release date. Stay tuned for future announcements!

Luckily, the age of technology is enabling long-distance caregiving in ways that previously have been unthinkable. There are apps and websites full of resources to help anyone searching for caregiving assistance but it's important to recognize that these tools only comfort those caregivers that put in the work. Do your research and don't wait when it comes to gathering the information. It's overwhelming in the moment so prepare your game plan early. Know which resources you will call upon months before you need them and talk to loved ones frequently to best understand their needs.

Do you have any experience with long-distance caregiving? Comment with all your pro tips cause I certainly don't have much to share in this department but this information is desprately needed If you want to know how not to do this, well then I got you! But there are a vast many of folks facing this challenge so comment with the intel! We need your knowledge.

3 Big Benefits of Yoga for Seniors and Caregivers

Balance