Clementine and Walnut Tea Cake With Honey

It’s citrus season which means if you aren’t indulging in crates of those little Cuties, you are missing out! They are easy to peel and typically seedless making them the perfect snack when you’re craving a little something but trying to avoid sheer junk. I’ve been known to down them three or four at a time resulting in odd looks from others in the room. But that’s only until they get their hands on one and next thing you know, they too are deep diving into a citrus bender. Although, I’m not sure there’s such thing as a “citrus bender”. Fresh fruit is nature’s candy and I give myself a free pass when it comes to loading up. But, sometimes you want a more traditional bender. Something with a hint of “bad” diet so you can enjoy the feeling of indulgence. I personally don’t subscribe to any particular diet crazes but I still “get it”. Junk food is a guilty pleasure, the optimal word here being p l e a s u r e…

Aside from the artificial ingredients, it’s the guilt that’s gonna kill us. I heard somewhere that guilt is linked to chronic pain. I have no idea if that’s true, but my gut tells me it is. I developed a relationship with caregiver guilt while I was taking care of my parents and I know it’s something moms also experience when they need to step away from their children. We give ourselves permission to hurt with guilt, acknowledging our “less-thanness” without ever honoring the courage it takes to choose more.

I wish I could say that I’m done with guilt. It’s gotten much better now that my folks have both passed, and I can say that I feel relief and satisfaction from the choices I made along the way. Those choices have not been without consequences and everyday since, I am reminded that my current situation is the result of having CARED for my aging parents. I imagine how different things would be if I didn’t care. I imagine that version of myself would have more money, more success, more stability… But I also imagine that she would have some mental health issues around being a disappointment. I’m not sure I’d be able to look at her squarely in the mirror without shame. I can imagine that my not caring would have manifested into crippling guilt as when a life passes, you realize you can never go back. Amends for mistakes can no longer be shared with those that may have been on the receiving end, ultimately creating more work for you and your psyche. Do you see the problem here?

As we age, we start to lose things. We lose our health, our youthful good looks, and in cases of dementia, even our minds… In some instances maybe that’s not the worst thing. Depending on how we live, we might want to forget, as the anguish of regret becomes its own debilitating burden. Guilt is mental junk food and we need to stop feeding our minds with it! But what does that mean for guilty pleasure? Is there no room? Of course there is! The difference is we own it. We know our indulgent behaviors coax our pleasure receptors and feeling good IS our WHY. So why not? Choose pleasure and stay conscious of the guilt while remaining mindful that you have the c o u r a g e to chose yourself first!

The way I see it, the route to aging better is to care more about the care “giver”. The caregiver is the link between an ailing individual and their quality of life. Whether that means YOU or someone you’ve hired, invest in that person. Take care of that person so they may continue the selfless work they are doing. They are the ones keeping the person, the culture, and ultimately the system from deteriorating. They are the greatest representation of our civil society, filling the crack spaces of social services, many of which flounder in neglect.

Caregivers are destitute. They are working for pennies, if not for free! So good gawd, let them cake! Let’s help them eat some effing cake!!!! Let’s remind them that the village is here, fully intact, and they can rest without guilt because we are here too… sharing the burden because this is how situations get better. People care…

Close-up of all the caramelized citrus goodness…

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 cups flour
• 1 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 2 tsp clementine zest
• 1/3 cup sugar
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1/8 cup heavy cream
• 3 round slices of clementine
• 1/8 cup juice from clementine
• 1 egg
• 1 tbsp olive oil
• 1/2 cup chopped walnuts
• 1 to 2 tsp of honey

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
2. Grease a bread pan and lay your clementine rings in the bottom
3. Take two bowls and in one add all the wet ingredients (except the honey) and in the other add the dry. Mix both separately then combine.
4. Carefully pour the batter into the bread pan (so as not to shift the rings) and bake for roughly 50 minutes until a toothpick inserted comes out clean.
5. When finished baking, carefully remove the bread and cool on a cooling rack.
6. Once cooled you can slice the dome that formed while baking, off the "top" and invert the loaf so it rests easily with the celementine rings on full display.
7. Then lightly drizzle the honey over the top allowing it to absorb into the cake before cutting into slices.

Long-Term Care: Assessing Your Needs and Planning to Pay

Have you given consideration to your long-term care needs? Have you created a plan for how to pay for it? The cost of health insurance during our healthiest of years is already reaching harrowing rates. But what about those days (hopefully distant future) when we need a bit of extra help. If it’s expensive now, we can assume it will be even more costly then. Fortunately, Harry Cline, creator of NewCaregiver.org and author of the upcoming book, The A-Z Home Care Handbook: Health Management How-Tos for Senior Caregivers is here to help us with some of these questions. Read below for some suggestions on how you can start to think big pictures for what long-term care might look like for you or your loved ones.

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While it isn’t pleasant to think about, there is a good chance you will need some type of long-term care in your senior years. Long-term care doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be put in a nursing home. In fact, assisted living facilities and nursing homes are more expensive than in-home care. Long-term care simply means any sort of custodial care you’ll need for more than two months, whether that be admittance into an assisted living facility, adult day care, or an in-home health aide.

 Planning for Long-Term Care Needs

 To assess the likelihood of your needing long-term care in the future, take a look at your state of health. Does your family carry any hereditary illnesses or conditions that could show up down the line? Fortunately, there are now predictive genetic tests that you can take to catch some of these early. However, it’s important to know that carrying a condition like Alzheimer’s means you won’t be eligible for long-term insurance.

 Barring genetic issues and accidents, your health is largely in your own hands. If you don’t already lead a healthy lifestyle that promotes longevity, make a resolution to change as soon as possible. One of the best things you can do for your long-term health is exercise regularly. You only need 90 minutes of exercise a week to reduce blood pressure levels. Exercise 450 minutes a week, and you’ll significantly reduce your chances of premature death.

 As mentioned earlier, in-home care can be significantly cheaper than an assisted living facility or nursing home. If you are part of the 87 percent of adults who wish to age-in-place within their own home, it’s important to make sure the house facilitates that. Either find a home that has accessibility features in place or budget to make the renovations yourself. You’ll need to make modifications such as installing railings on both sides of stairs, removing any loose carpeting or rugs, and changing to automatic night lights.

 Paying for Long-Term Care Needs

 The further you are from retirement, the more options you have when it comes to saving for long-term care. An easy way to make sure you’ll have the funds no matter what is by investing in long-term care insurance. Long-term care insurance is expensive for a reason. Insurance companies know just like the rest of us that healthcare costs are rising steadily, as is the aging population. The chances of someone needing to actually use that insurance is pretty high, thus the high premium.

 Another option you have when it comes to saving for your long-term needs is a Health Savings Account (HSA). a Health Savings Account is a compound interest savings program that allows you to contribute a certain amount monthly without having to pay taxes. The funds can be used on a variety of healthcare costs, including custodial care. The best part about an HSA is you can access the funds tax-free for everything from acupuncture to X-rays. If you want to access the funds for any other purchases, you can do that as well! Just be prepared to pay taxes on it.

Long-term care isn’t necessarily as scary as it sounds, but it is serious business. The costs of healthcare are rising every day, so it’s something you need to plan for. When assessing your risk of needing long-term care, there are predictive genetic tests you can take. However, your best bet is reducing your chances of needing long-term care with a healthy lifestyle that includes exercise. If you prefer the idea of in-home care over being admitted to an assisted living facility, you have to make sure your house is ready with accessibility modifications. To pay for your long-term care needs, you can invest in insurance. However, this is an expensive option and ultimately useless if you end up not needing it. A Health Savings Account, on the other hand, allows you to save thousands a year and benefit from its tax-free status and compound interest to pay for long-term healthcare costs when the time comes.

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Do any of you have experience with a Health Savings Account? It has only recently popped up on my radar but after struggling financially to afford life crippled under my parents health, let alone my own healthcare, I’m developing a budding interest in all things financial. Share your experience affording care in the comments. Many of us new to caregiving are clueless about this stuff so your input is extremely valued here.

25 Day Christmas Splits Challenge

In effort to finish the year strong, and help motivate anyone needing a push, Erika (my childhood bestie) and, are going to recreate this photo. Yup. Splits-fest! We are implementing our own, 25 Day Christmas Splits Challenge. It’s been more than three decades and trust me, it will take a Christmas miracle, but it’s a good excuse for us to get together and “practice” and get me out of my damn chair! As the final month of the year, it feels only right to pay tribute to December as the “home stretch”. With a whole month left till the end of 2018, we still have time to make good on whatever promises we made back in January. Now, four weeks is a good amount of time. It’s not a lot of time but it’s a reasonable chunk and if you apply yourself, you could probably see progress in whatever your goal. Every year Erika and I say we are going to recreate this shot and every year passes without any effort. Well, not this year! Crunch time is upon us and tis the freakin’ season! And, if you read yesterday’s post then you know I’ve been extra sedentary lately. It’s now or never folks. This has to happen.

Normally, I’m not one to promote fitness during the holidays (or vacations). No use in missing out on the glorious goodies this time of year brings. My approach typically is to go all in. I eat everything, lounge endlessly watching Christmas movies, and bask in the decadent joy of the season. By the time New Year’s comes along, I’m saddled with plenty of motivation to make a fresh start. Well, I guess you could say Christmas came early? I am so desperate for a change of pace that cookies and glogg are of little interest. See?! I told you! Something is wrong!!!

I’m hoping the infusion of extra movement will have me back to my old self lickety-split. I need an injection of holiday cheer ASAP, and I figure the best way to achieve that right now is with a healthy intention. A flexibility goal seems like a perfect step towards feeling better. Not to mention, flexibility is easily practiced at home which is a must for the caregiver lifestyle. And the good news is we’ll be sharing snippets of progress with you along the way. How’s that for joy? Nothing like awkward internet photos to help spread some holiday cheer, am I right? It’s like the a horrible version of an advent calendar but we’re going for it! It can’t be any worse than coal. And thank gawd Harry Cline offered us those yoga suggestions with his guest post yesterday cause we are gonna need them!

You can follow along via the Stories section of the How to Feed a Senior, Instagram account but don’t judge cause we’ve got that covered. This photo alone has me zeroing in on my sweet haircut and my graceful claw. For all the haters when it comes to aging, I think this photo is proof that things get better with time. Clearly, the years have been kind and I’m hoping this also applies to the next 25 days. Keep your finger’s crossed for a Christmas miracle folks, and let me know if your up for the challenge or doing one of your own! Group accountability always helps.

Speaking of Christmas, I created a holiday gift guide for foodies if any of you are in search of ideas. I have two more in the works for both caregivers and spoon carvers which I’ll post when they are ready.

Also, if anyone make it visit to Santa, you should tell him Lickety-Split and Snippets would be good reindeer names! Just sayin’…

Merry, merry friend! I’ll see you over on Instagram stories. And don’t laugh! Or do… but trust me, it’s going to be painful.;)

3 Big Benefits of Yoga for Seniors and Caregivers

Lately, my biggest grip about being a caregiver is how sedentary I have become. I spend most of my days watching my dad watch TV and it is literally killing me. I’m developing aches and pains from the lack of movement. I’m agitated and cranky almost all the time which can’t be good for my blood pressure. And perhaps the worst is knowing I should do more but don’t and so it’s all of the above with a dose of guilt to go with it. Cheers to meh…(Insert eye roll here.) Fortunately, I trust this is just a phase. I’ve always been a relatively active person. I’ve dabble in seasons of less movement but for the most part exercise is my health insurance. I know how important it is to one’s overall sense of wellness which is why I am so happy to introduce you to Harry Cline.

Harry is the creator of NewCaregiver.org and author of the upcoming book, The A-Z Home Care Handbook: Health Management How-Tos for Senior Caregivers. He is a retired nursing home administrator, father of three, and caregiver to his ninety-year-old uncle. He is more than familiar with the challenges and rewards of caregiving and understands the role is often overwhelming for those just starting out. Through creating his website and writing his new book, he offers caregivers everywhere help and support. We are lucky to have him with us today to help shed some light on the role of flexibility. That’s right folks! FLEXIBILITY! And balance and mindfulness… But as we move into December we should be remember that this is the “home stretch” of 2018 and there is still time to finish strong. Since both seniors and caregivers (or anyone for that matter) stand to benefit from developing a consistent yoga and meditation practice, Harry is here to share his tips and help us get started.

Here’s Harry!

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Yoga is for everybody. It might sound cliché, but it’s true. There are many benefits of doing yoga for people of all ages and any fitness level. Chances are, you already know this. Perhaps your friends do yoga at a Silver Sneakers class. Maybe your physician told you how yoga can help ease those morning aches and pains. Yoga can be good for you physically, but did you know that yoga has a mental advantage, as well?

Aging isn’t easy, but neither is being a caregiver. Doing yoga together can help alleviate stress and tension while also getting your bodies moving. Caregivers often have little time for self-care, so doing yoga together is a great way to encourage them to work on their own physical and mental health. The same yoga sequences that can benefit seniors can also benefit caregivers.

1. Balance

There are many yoga postures that help improve balance, which has a positive impact on memory and brain function. The brain is home to your body’s balance sensors, so poses that focus on balance can be positive for seniors who may be experiencing mild cognitive impairment. These kinds of poses can also help improve your agility, which can help prevent falls. Balance poses require our attention every second, which improves the equilibrium in both our minds and bodies.

Try This Balance Pose: Tree

Standing with one leg planted firmly on the floor, bring the foot of your opposite leg to your ankle, calf, or thigh. This is the start of tree pose. You can stretch your arms out to the side, press them together in front of your chest, or raise them up over your head. If you feel a little wobbly on your feet, hold on to the back of a chair, a door frame, or a wall.

 2. Flexibility

As we age, our bodies become tighter and tenser. This is also true if we are more sedentary or stressed. Yoga improves flexibility by helping our muscles, tendons, and ligaments elongate and stretch so that our bodies let go and release. It’s important to take it slow -- if a pose is uncomfortable, but you can breathe through it, see if you can stick it out for five to 10 breathes. However, if it feels painful, back out until you find a place that is a comfortable challenge.

Try This Flexibility Pose: Sitting Pigeon

There are several ways to do a pigeon pose. If you’re new to working on flexibility, sit firmly on the floor with your knees bent and feet flat on the ground. Plant your hands behind your back and lean back a bit. Bring your right ankle on to your left thigh just below your knee. If you want to deepen the stretch, bring your right hand to your right knee and apply gentle pressure. If this pose is easy for you, try a more advanced version of pigeon posture.

3. Mindfulness

Yoga helps us connect our minds and bodies, increasing awareness about how we feel and why we act. Yoga, which literally translates as “to yolk,” makes that connect by emphasizing meditation and a focus on breathing. One way to make yoga a habit with you and your caregiver is to set up a meditation space in your home. Choose an area free of distractions and with nice natural light. Roll out your yoga mat, set out a few cushions and light a candle, set out aromatherapy scents, or play calming music.

Try This Breathing Activity: Three-Part Breath

Sit comfortably on the floor or a chair. Roll your shoulders back and down and put space between your ears and your shoulders. Place your right hand on your chest and your left hand over your belly button. Inhale into your belly — your left hand should push forward. Then, move the inhale upward, drawing the air in between your ribs and finally in your chest. Exhale in reverse. Practice making this breath smooth and fluid, like a wave rolling up when you inhale and down when you exhale.

 Yoga can help both you and your caregiver improve your physical and mental well-being. However, just as important -- or maybe even more -- it can bring you closer together, creating a happier, low-stress household.

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Me again…

This topic brings up several thoughts specifically in terms of relationships. I’ve long been searching for an alternative version of “mommy and me” activities that are more aptly appropriate to adult children and their aging parents. It is true that both seniors and caregiver stand to benefit from engaging together in activities. Additionally, activities that promote the physical well-being across generations stand to gain broad acceptance as both youth and elderly populations find their lives increasingly intertwined. But the question is HOW? I anxiously await programs that recognize that senior wellness initiatives must also apply to their caretakers. Programs like Silver Sneakers offer desirable benefits to the senior demographic but I wonder how many would-be participant don’t enroll because of limitations surrounding their caregiver’s access? This trend is also visible at senior centers where age restrictions often limit caregivers from attending and therefore keep many seniors from utilizing available community resources. I see a growing need to bridge this arena if we truly want to improve the culture of aging in America. The exclusivity surrounding age related access is a disservice to quality of life, and I look forward to more perspectives like Harry’s that highlight the intersection of seniors and those that care for them!

And if you are a caregiver, I would love to hear your experience finding activities that cater to both you and your care person. I’ve struggled finding activities that offers both my father and I and opportunity to grow. Aside from the local library (which could benefit their service by creating a senior section mush like a children’s section) I’ve experienced very little in the way of mutually supported service. Rather, what I observe, is the catering to one or the other which feels more like a wedge between the two world and thereby crippling either’s ability to thrive. I, like many caregivers, live without the luxury of separating our experiences. Our lives are conjoined and that I’ve come to accept, but as a caregiver I feel the marginalization of this role. I want to hear your thoughts about organizations, ideas, and/or experiences aimed at addressing this unique circumstance. How can we fill this gap?

Daily Needs Assessment: A Key to Quality of Life

Hi folks!

I'm back here with another guest post from June Duncan, the author of the soon to be released book The Complete Guide to Caregiving and creator of Rise Up for Caregivers.  This time around she comes to us with great information relating to senior independence and some tips for assessing when a caregiver may need to step in.  Identifying these things early can help caregivers (or future caregivers) mitigate problems. Forecasting possible scenarios is a step towards putting a plan in place and I speak from experience when I say you don't want to be caught off guard.  Many of these suggestions are short-term solutions that can help pad the timeline surrounding a more significant transition.  It can be overwhelming to tackle all at once but take notice, address what you can, and begin assessing the needs of your senior loves. 

Now, some words from June:

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Image courtesy of Pixabay

Caregiving for a senior loved one can feel like walking around in the dark sometimes.  However, there are key ways to improve your senior’s quality of life and meet needs more clearly.  With a well-defined assessment, you can enhance your loved one’s independence and relieve that stumbling-in-the-dark sensation.

Gauging independence

Certain tasks performed in everyday life are necessary for independent living.  Those tasks are termed Activities of Daily Living (ADLs), and include items such as dressing, bathing, eating, using the toilet, and being able to move from laying down to standing.  Sometimes with a little support in these areas, seniors can continue living at home and remain reasonably independent.  The first step in deciding whether your loved one can safely remain at home is clearly gauging how much assistance is required in performing those tasks.  Carefully assess your senior’s ability in each of the ADLs, using a sliding scale on how much help is needed to accomplish each task.  This may seem a bit overwhelming, but there are a number of tools available for making this evaluation, such as the Bristol Activities of Daily Living Scale. 

Simple alterations

Once you complete an assessment of your senior’s abilities, review your loved one’s living situation.  Oftentimes, the home environment can be effectively improved with minimal effort, allowing greater safety and peace of mind.  Ensure the main living area is entirely on one floor, with access to a bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen.  Then review the living area for enhanced mobility and reduced safety risks. 

For example, the National Institute on Aging recommends reducing slipping and tripping hazards in the home.  You can do this by removing furniture and opening floor space for your loved one.  Reduce clutter such as magazine racks and piles of newspapers, and eliminate or secure throw rugs.  Stairwells should include a sturdy railing for support, and electrical cords should be safely secured away from walkways to reduce the risk of tripping on them.  Ideally, floors should offer improved traction; you can leave surfaces unpolished or install nonskid strips to enhance your senior’s safety.  Some experts also suggest removing thresholds so your senior doesn’t need to navigate steps in and out of the home and between interior rooms.

Improving visibility is another simple but important way to enhance your loved one’s safety and independence.  Even if your senior is still enjoying good physical vision, sometimes comprehending what is being seen is an issue.  There are several simple ways to help.  Stairs can be marked with different colored tape so the changes in levels are more easily seen.  Similarly, use high-contrast colors for floors and walls.  Eliminate window coverings and rugs with complex, confusing patterns. 

For better accessibility in bathrooms and kitchens, consider installing lever-style faucet handles instead of knobs.  Single levers are best, since they are not only easy to grip but also reduce the risk of scalding.  Use base cabinets for the majority of storage so your senior doesn’t need to climb to reach items, and add lazy Susans and pull-out drawers to reduce bending.  Some professionals advise adding grab bars in bathrooms to reduce risk of falls. 

Services and resources

When considering what ways your loved one’s quality of life can improve, explore resources in the local community.  As the experts at HomeAdvisor explain, seniors can often enjoy remaining in their own homes through the benefits of supportive services.  Meal providers can deliver nutritious food and reduce shopping and meal preparation responsibilities.  Transportation services can allow your loved one to run errands and reach medical appointments even if driving isn’t feasible.  Money management professionals help seniors who are no longer able to perform all of their bookkeeping obligations.  For specific services and resources available in your locality, contact your Area Agency on Aging. 

Assessment is key

A good assessment will help you identify your senior’s limitations.  Once you have a clear understanding of where needs are, you can directly address those concerns.  By modifying the living environment and employing supportive services, you can improve quality of life for both you and your aging loved one.

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Alright, now it's your turn.  Do any of you have experience implementing any of these suggestions?  Or, do you have any questions that June or I might be able to address?  We understand that the world of caregiving is increasingly isolated and decision making is often challenging without a sounding board or support system to help provide some perspective.  As always, this space strives to create a community for the unique needs of caregivers so please don't hesitate to tell us your thoughts.  We want to hear from you but we also want to learn from you. Drop us your thoughts and lets get to discussing!

Golden Years

As modern media seems transfixed by capitalizing off youth, I have to wonder if I am considered past prime.  I am not even 40, yet the stereotypes that surround “mid-life” remind me I should prepare for an impending crisis.

 At some point, we as a culture have adopted the mentality that life should be figured-out about half way through, and any short comings of that projection are often internalized as failures.  But why are we so quick to adopt failure when the game itself isn’t over?  Half-way is really only part-way, with a substantial chunk still left.  What if the second half is the best half?

The modern portrayal of the “golden years” seems incredibly tarnished.  Seniors have been marginalized by fears of fixed-incomes, arthritis, and blood-pressure medication all indicating to a decline of old-aged comfort. The marketing tactics for seniors even perpetuate these fears dedicating advertising to pharmaceuticals, security systems, supplemental insurance plans and that b*tch who has “fallen and can’t get up!”   

Grey hair, wrinkles and everything else, can’t we find these things to be beautiful?  Isn’t there a place in our cultural mentality for sweetness where golden is really gold and not just a disguise for old?  I refuse to believe that old age can’t be something to look forward too.  One’s best years always need to remain on the horizon and serve as both a destination and a reminder that good things are still to come.  The saying suggests that “Life is sweet”, not youth, no matter how much the media tries to sell us this message.

So, if you care to share, please tell me what your finish line looks like?  Is it a vision of pill boxes and Depends because that is certainly not mine, no matter how mainstream that marketing gets.  Pills and adult diapers may very well be a necessity in my future, but they aren’t exactly the material of dreams.  Not at all! I want the fine china, and I want it every day!  I want hobbies and an early afternoon cocktail on a porch swing with a book.  I want to be able to get-up off the floor without help at any age and go to exercise classes even if they occur on a chair.  I look forward to the discounts because who wants to pay full price for [insert anything here].  And my early-bird special includes sushi not a Salisbury steak?  No, wait.  What is Salisbury steak?  Am I missing something here?  Should I want to want Salisbury steak? 

My point is the golden years should be the best of years and we as individuals and caregivers should strive to make that version of life possible.  Maybe it’s only a fantasy but at least it’s one to look forward to!