May 2019: Gluten-Free Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe

April shower’s don’t always bring May flowers, or so I’ve been reminded with the passing of Mother’s Day...

It started out harmless enough. On the Wednesday before, I went to the bank running routine errands and as I was leaving, the clerk wished me “Happy Mother’s Day!” Boom! Just like that, I was triggered. First of all, it was Wednesday, approximately four days too early.

Slowdown tiger… Let’s take things a day at a time…

But then I started the dark spiral into how inappropriate it felt to assume we are all celebrating. I am not a mother, nor do I have my own mother to celebrate the day with, and the blatant cheeriness dripping from the clerk’s chin, all about had me ready to turn around and release the Mother of Dragons at her for making such a careless mistake.

… DRACARYS!!!

My mom Sandrita of House Targaryen.

Somehow the words “you too” found their way out of my mouth and I left without torching the place. But then, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I felt the next several days build with enthusiasm for mom’s everywhere. But I also felt the communal outcry for the bereaved. What that bank clerk neglected, the village provided, and for all the hater’s of social media it would be a shame to dismiss the macro moment of holding space for all of those that have been touched by the institution of motherhood. Being a mother or having a mother makes little difference. The gift of motherhood is ubiquitous and the internet honored them all! My irritation simmered as the larger community reflected a broader sense consciousness and that got me reflecting on my snap judgement of the bank clerk. It seems we were no different, her and I. Both of us, projecting assumptions onto the other. That I would be celebrating Mother’s Day, and she’d be more “woke” and guarded with words… Ugh… I’m ashamed at my own presumption. When a gesture of kindness turns into a source of frustration, it should be a clue that the problem isn’t them; it’s you!

As much as I think I’ve moved on from my mother’s passing, this incident exposed just how raw loss can be, even years later. I’ve heard that moving forward from grief doesn’t mean life eventually returns to “normal”. Instead, we carry the grief with us, heavier by way of holding an emotional weight that only becomes lighter when love lifts us. I’m learning that it’s sometimes impossible to keep a heart from breaking and no amount of glue can restore a shattered one to whole. But loss finds forward traction with love from friends and family, and community members that gather those shards and carry what they can as an emotional service. Humanity and all of its kindness, keeps the burden of pain from being a solo voyage. A village can help shoulder heaviness which is why we need to promote togetherness at all cost. Cue the Full Moon Baking Club…

Communities need work. The growing amount of division among us is concerning but in my experience, baked goods have always had a way of bringing folks together. It’s far from a fix but it’s a start, and if we hope to repair communities we need to disrupt the flow towards isolation and provide opportunities for joyful assembly. This month I invite you to make this recipe, compliments of King Arthur Flour, with the intention to gather, be together and share moments that will spawn memories. We can build relationships and cultivate inclusive environments that proactively combat feelings of “otherness”. And since there are many folks that daily are excluded from the simple pleasure of enjoying food due to allergies, intolerances, and other dietary restrictions, I’m thinking of them this month with this flourless recipe. For all those gluten-free folks battling celiac or gluten intolerance, take a night off from grieving your loss of tasty baked goods, with this cookie recipe. They are delicious and I applaud King Arthur Flour for thinking outside their own box. Cause even the flourless crave flowers… Open your heart by opening your oven door and let cookies be the floodgate in which kindness flows. Happy full moon my friends!

Holding you in heart,

Ashley

Ingredients

• 1 cup smooth peanut butter
• 3/4 cup brown sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• pinch of salt
• 1 large egg
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup chocolate chips or mini chips

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F.
2. Beat the peanut butter, sugar, baking soda, and salt at medium speed of your mixer, until well-blended.
3. Add the egg and vanilla, and blend on low-medium speed until incorporated.
4. Stir in the chocolate chips.
5. Scoop the dough by the tablespoonful onto a baking sheet and push the top of the dough to flatten just slightly.
6. Bake the cookies for 8 to 10 minutes. Remove them from the oven, and cool right on the pan. The tops should be slightly crinkled and you will want to pull them BEFORE they begin to brown on the edges.

* For the original recipe click here.

April 2019: Seed Bread Recipe

For the April 2019 Full Moon bread I can’t think of anything more appropriate than recipe that includes seeds. We are officially in the season of Spring and maintaining with that earthy alignment, seeds seem like a must! Now is the time of year we get back to our gardens and nurture beginnings. No matter if you are embarking on a new phase of life (hashtag me) or a legit garden landscape, seeds are the homies of the season. And if you are someone that wants to adopt a homemade bread practice, well my friend… you have joined at the right time!

Baking culture has unfortunately intimidated the newbies, keeping many would be bread bakers away from the craft. All the more reason for you to hike up your sleeves and shove that elitism right back to were it came from. Anyone with an oven can bake bread and as I explained in last month’s post, basic bread baking is accessible to all. Don’t fear the mess! That’s the meditation of having a bread practice. When you allow yourself to delve into the tactile art of dough, you forfeit your control and learn to work with what’s at hand. Literally. Cause this stuff will stick to your hands until you connect the relationship between wet and dry ingredients. Think back to your childhood when making mud patties where all the rage. Those were fun times until our parent got their say. Well, bread making is mud patty version for adulting. Age has most likely moved us away from play but according to research, play is an important part of development. And since we never truly stop developing, play should not be exclusive to children. If anything, we grown-ups need more exploratory activities to challenge ours brains and remind us that there is more to the world than what we currently know. And the more we learn to engage with the world around us, the better we feel navigating foreign territory. Longs story short, bread yo! Consider it a playground for curiosity that produces better and better results as you gain familiarity.

So, back to the seeds… Aside from the obvious spring seeds blah, blah, this recipe will get your hands into the mix with the chance to really feel your way through the process. Like, really feel the dough and connect with that wet/dry relationship so that the concept starts to click. I’m also going to walk you through an overnight rise so you can familiarize yourself with the convenience of making bread on your own clock. Speaking of clocks, this is the part where I remind you that you do not need to bake bread on the Full Moon. The point of the club is to make a bread this moon cycle and call all your peops over for some sharing. You gotta make bread in order to break bread and whether you see this as a religious/Eucharist offering or just a standard good time among friends, we have reached a point in which opportunities for togetherness are few and far between, so lets make some bread. It doesn’t have to be this one. It doesn’t even have to be good. The point is you yourself are giving reason to gather and from there we can embark on strengthening our relationships and build better communities. Lofty goal? Sure. But we gotta figure out way to push back again all the hate and as Brene Brown says in her book Braving The Wilderness, “People are hard to hate close-up. Move in.” Granted, that is often easier said than done but that’s why you start with friends and create a reason to gather. Bread is the impetus. It’s the commonality amid our diversity and a chance to find connection with a stranger. Baby steps my friends… Just play around with the new… Just plant a seed and I promise you that growth will follow.

“People are hard to hate close-up. Move in.”

— Brene Brown

Ingredients & Supplies

• 3 cups flour
• 1 tsp salt
• 1/4 tsp active dry yeast
• 1 1/2 cup warm water
• 1/4 cup seeds (sesame, poppy, flax, etc.)
• Plastic wrap
• Parchment paper
• Dutch Oven

Directions

Phase 1

1. In a large bowl mix the flour, salt, and yeast together.
2. Add the warm water and mix to form a shaggy dough ball.
3. Cover with plastic wrap and let rest 8 to 12 hours or overnight.

Phase 2

1. Remove the cover and you'll notice the dough swelled and now appears quite wet and sticky.
2. Sprinkle a layer of seed over the surface of the dough, and then with a wet hand, reach in and lift the dough from the bottom and fold it onto the top.
3. Rotate the bowl slightly and continue with a wet hand to fold the dough over, hiding the seeds within. Do this until all the seeds are now on the inside of the dough.
4. Next, add another light layer of seeds to the top surface and repeat the process of folding the seed into the dough. This method makes for easy kneeding of high hydration doughs while incorporating the seeds at the same time.
5. Once the seed are folded thoughout, you can then shape the dough on a lightly floured surface.
6. Shape the dough into a smooth round form, and then place the dough on a piece or parchment paper resting in pie pan.
7. Sprinkle the last of the seed on top of the dough and then cover and let rest for an hour or until double in size.

Phase 3

1. Preheat your oven and the empty Dutch Oven to 450 degrees F.
2. Once it's preheated to temp, remove the cover from the dough and score the top.
3. Then remove the Dutch Oven from the oven and carefully transfer the dough with the parchment paper and place it into the Dutch Oven securing the lid on top.
4. Bake the dough for 30 minutes.
5. Remove the lid and lower the temperature to 415 degrees F. and bake for 10-15 more minutes until the crust is a deep golden brown.
6. Remove the bread and cool on a wire rack.
7. Invite friends and enjoy!

In Loving Memory Of Gratitude On Thanksgiving

Last year, I remember going through the effort to create a fabulous Thanksgiving meal. I made all the sides and meticulously selected the dishes for serving them. I prepped dough for pies, made cranberry sauce, and even brined my turkey in preparation. I remember tending to my small flower garden and freshly picking a bouquet for a vase to display on our kitchen table. I remember finding a yellow table linen and some candle sticks, archived in a closet, and pulled them out to add even more of a sense of holiday spirit. I spent the whole week really, just getting ready, and true to food blogger form, I shared much of those moments on social media. But here’s the thing about social media… The communities we make online are never a substitute for the real thing. At the end of the day, my Thanksgiving extravaganza, as much as it was “shared,” was a lonesome table for none. A table for one never felt more lonesome because even I was a no-show. Why bother if it’s just for me? My father wasn’t interested in anything more than his usual peanut butter and jelly and I mostly felt defeated in recognizing the reality. I had no one to really share my Thanksgiving meal with and I couldn’t help wondering, what was the point?

“The communities we make online are never a substitute for the real thing.”

Fortunately, my childhood best friend Erika, invited my dad and I to her mother’s house. Prior to her phone call, I felt sad for myself. I went to great lengths to create a Thanksgiving feast, so intent for the purpose of sharing but without a single human to enjoy it with. I actually felt pathetic… Showboating for a social media post… It took some effort to convince my dad but we went and so did my side dishes! It was remarkable to witness generations of a single family all in one place, eating and laughing, and even arguing at times but ultimately enjoying each other’s company.

Erika saved my day but there are many folks without someone to share in a sense of togetherness. The company we keep helps form our communities and a life without the presence of another is depressing at best. We are increasingly separated by circumstance, be it a natural disaster, political differences, civic duties and your run-of-the-mill, family dynamics. There are endless reasons for why we can’t come together, which makes me think that the effort to unite is time well spent. The holidays give us that reason. They provide great impetus to strive for union even as aspects of life will forever remain obstacles. But defeat is not an option, right? Challenges, no matter how they appear, are opportunities to double down and compound efforts when they matter most. So this year, in recognition of so many that are separated by unfortunate circumstances, I am sharing gratitude and hoping it carries good tidings to someone that feels lost, or helpless, or alone , due to playing the tough hand life’s dealt.

“You don’t have the right to the cards you believe you should have been dealt.
You have an obligation to play the hell out of the ones you’re holding.”

— Cheryl Strayed

So, in honor of November’s gratitude call, I’m attempting to give back to two organizations. The first is the veteran’s organization, Hope for the Warriors, that has a scholarship program and additional support services specifically for caregivers. As a caregiver to my father, whom is a veteran of the Korean War, supporting Hope for the Warriors is an initiative I can get behind. Additionally, I have formed an unlikely friendship with a man named Richard, a Vietnam War Veteran, whom spent the last five years caring for his wife as she suffered from Alzheimer’s. Richard and I quickly bonded over the stress of the caregiver life. He has helped me some in managing my dad and has also become my mentor of sorts into the world of copper and scrapsmithing. It’s only fitting that our first collaboration serve to benefit those in similar situations. The Copper Cutlery Set is our proudest collaboration thus far and we are happy to dedicate 25% of the proceeds to help fund caregiver initiatives with Hope for the Warriors.

Richard in his shop, Photo credit: Angel Kulynych

The second organization I want to support this month is the International Association of Fire Fighters that have been heroically serving on the front lines of the wildfires raging throughout California. The Torched Oak mixing spoon is for sale with 50% of the proceeds going to IAFF as I can think of nothing more symbolic of life support than a spoon. The handle detail includes torch marks honoring the brave men and women fighting on the front lines to protect individuals and communities from the threat of wildfire. So many have already lost everything but this is a little something I (or rather, we) can give back in support.

In the scheme of things, the cash amassed for these two organizations through spoon sales is nominal and it’s easy to fall prey in thinking one’s efforts are not enough. But for the person that feels they have lost everything, the smallest of gestures can feel like the world. We live often disconnected from the impact of meaningful relationship building. I say meaningful in that feelings are exchanged over a shared experience where multiple parties connect through a mutual affection for a moment. Creation of a sense of belonging with intentional gestures to foster a fellowship for care… This is how we cultivate community.

Last year, Erika ushered me out of my depression and into her community with a small gesture of kindness. It was just a phone call, but more than that, it was care. And as you gather this Thanksgiving Day, I hope you take a moment to acknowledge that this day is special. Not for the food or the history of how Thanksgiving came to be, but the fact that we just don’t do a good job of creating opportunities to build connections. The holidays in general, for better or for worse, give us reason to be together, so let’s make it count!